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Nino Priore
el Nino Priory

El Nino Priory

El Nino Priory was built in 1741 for the Duke of Panama. The first Duke of Panama, Nino Priore I, was Viceroy of New Granada from 1812 until 1819.  His very public affair with Lady Carolina Del Perspero, the Portuguese Special Envoy to Peru, resulted in the births of Nino Priore II - VII.  The tradition for naming all male offspring Nino has remained to the present day, the only exception being the third son of Duke Nino XVIII who was born with ingrowing genitals and was actually brought up as a girl and called Francesca until a Llama-riding accident caused his genitals to suddenly appear, much to the surprise of his husband, George. The famous weather phenomenon known as El Nino was named after Duke Nino XXI whose brutality was renowned throughout the New World. It was with Duke Nino XXI that the family reached the pinnacle of it’s power and influence when it established absolute control of the South American heroin trade routes.  The power and brutality of Duke Nino XXI inspired the choice of name for the El Nino phenomenon.  The current Duke of Panama, Duke Nino Priore XXXIV, is president of Panamanians Against Narcotics Trafficking Into European Suburbs (PANTIES) which aims to stamp out South American/European drugs trafficking through meditation, yoga and Buddhist chanting.  He reputedly owns 365 pairs of open-toed sandals, one for each day of the year. The family enjoys good fortunes, despite taking a serious hit when the Duke’s father, Nino XXXIII, unwisely invested vast sums of money into a fraudulent Swiss off-shore oil exploration company which duped investors with promises of riches by “exploiting Switzerland’s vast deep sea oil reserves”. As well as El Nino Priory, the Priore family also owns a casino and hotel in Monaco and the world’s tallest multi-storey car park which is located in Manhattan and has 123 floors.