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Fettleworthy Park is the seat of the Baronetcy of Lower, Middle, Upper and Great Fettleworthy. The current owner is the 12th Baronet Robinson, Sir Aaron Robinson-Turtleneck-Sweater. The origin of Baronet Robinson’s unusual triple-barrelled surname comes from the merging of the four Fettleworthy Baronetcies during the late 19th century and early 20th century through marriage and interbreeding. The four villages of Fettleworthy achieved notoriety in the 1920’s when they opened the European Buddhist Centre and the Baronet took the title of Great Llama. Fettleworthy Buddhists differ from traditional Buddhists in that they believe the Great Llama is the real re-incarnation of Buddha. Baronet Robinson recently met with the Dalai Llama in Sierra Leone to forge closer ties but stormed out of the meeting claiming the Dalai Llama had used Jedi mind tricks on him. Observers have suggested this may indicate that the Baronet is becoming stressed. Baronet Robinson could certainly be forgiven for being stressed as Fettleworthy Buddhist law says that the Great Llama should take a new wife every 2 and a half years from the age of 16. He is also obliged to share his home with every one of his mother-in-law’s. One of the aims of the Fettleworthy Buddhists is to establish a Buddhist European super-state. A splinter group, the Fettleworthy Armed Resistance Tigers, has recently embarked on a terrorist bombing campaign across Europe. However, due to their pacifist nature and sprouts being an abomination in their religion, they have so far restricted their campaign to blowing up sprout fields in Poland and Belgium. Their campaign has resulted in mild amusement and a 3 pence rise in the price of a half kilo pack Tesco Value sprouts.
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