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Kendal Park is situated in the Lake District National Park in England and was built as a holiday home for Count Myntceyk of Prague in 1763. Count Myntceyk was assassinated in 1764 and the widowed Countess went on to marry Lord Lavender Mintagoo-de-Ponceby of Kendal, the wayward nephew of King Haarkvern Ginger Beard of the Faroe Islands. In 1858, Lord Prebskvy Mintagoo-de-Ponceby married Lady Tracey Routier. Later that year, Lord Mintagoo-de-Ponceby changed his name to Hubert Kendal and was sent to India as Director General of the Queen’s Opium plantations. Whilst in India, Lord Kendal discovered the Karma Sutra and proceeded to practice it on the wives of local British government officials. He was eventually caught in bed with 4 married women, a pumpkin, half a kilo of toffee apples and a German Shepherd called Buttercup. Following the incident, Major Alfred Hopkins challenged Lord Kendal to a duel for Buttercup’s honour. Lord Kendal won the duel but was mortally wounded and later died in a field hospital in Bengal. Lady Kendal went on to marry Duke Newquham who died in mysterious circumstances on their honeymoon leaving Lady Kendall as his sole heir. The present Lord Kendal, Lord Stephen, is a keen Schadenfreudeist and sometimes spend months setting up painful pranks so he can laugh at the misfortune of his associates. Lord Kendal is a vehement supporter of hunting and regularly hosts fox hunts at Kendal Park. Lord Kendal recently had a brush with death whilst on a clubbing holiday in Alaska when his boat collided with a glacier. Luckily, Lord Kendal was able to rescue the seal pelts but most of the crew were drowned.
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